I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize