I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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