i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
