mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
