Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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