you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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