Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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