I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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