i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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