We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
