I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
