Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
