Whod you bang
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
