you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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