I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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