i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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