he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
