I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
