I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
