Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
