There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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