just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
