My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
