smell my finger.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We need to get me chipped asap
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
