Sry I called you an 8
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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