Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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