I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
