I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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