508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
