Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
