i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
