I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
