You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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