Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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