I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
