Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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