I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
