I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
