You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
