Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
