Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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