I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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