I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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