The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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