I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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