Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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