I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
