I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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