how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
