Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
