so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
