His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
