just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
