Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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