This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
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Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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