I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
