I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize