just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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