are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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