did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
