remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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