I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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